Did you know beard gangs don’t use guns!? I mean, their greatest weapon is a bottle of coconut oil, the content not the container, God forbid the bottle breaks or they break it in an argument over texture, tears will flow and mucous even more –
little wonder this spineless generation wants in on all the inactions.
Real men shave, real men face the blade and conquer.
Have you ever had a hot towel shave?, bearing your future in the hands of a conflicted soul, knowing that a moment of insanity could be your last.
So what if he had crack for lunch, real men surrender their lives to the blade and the wielder alike.
These days we no longer subscribe to dick measuring contests, show me your beard and I’ll tell you who you are- a bitch. A privileged bitch with the genetic make up of a beast.
Call it bitterness, call it rage;
call it jealousy if you will-
because you can grow a fuller beard than I can doesn’t make you superior or more of a ‘man’.
Truth is I no longer know what makes a man and I don’t think I ever did.
When will I ever be enough to be called a man?,
Apparently age doesn’t count, teenagers are ‘manning’ up these days. Again I don’t know what makes a man, penis enlargement perhaps or those who the heavens smiled on like me, I simply need to use it more; to remind myself what it feels like to be a man. Maybe I was born as one. We all know a man, why not tell me, what makes them so.
✒Adewumi Godwin