Floating in your love….

Never been the type to like flowers. But if you send me flowers, I will love them. Put them in the best light and take a photo of them. Not just a photo to post saying I got flowers. No, it will be multiple photos. Close ups and the full image. I’ll probably add a couple filters and turn them into prints.

If you were to write me a love letter, I’ll read it multiple times and smile just as hard after each read. I will find the perfect container to put it in, so I can add more to it if you decide to write another.

The same goes for if you were to buy me earrings over a necklace. I will love them and turn it into a mini photo session.

The only way I will not capture a photo of the moment, is when I’m sitting face to face with you. This will be a moment I want to soak up without missing a second.

Now you’re probably thinking why wouldn’t I want to capture that image. Remember I said the only way I wouldn’t. Do you think I’m ever going to miss an opportunity to look back on a memory of us? No, I’ll have a camera set to capture it for me so I can enjoy every second of you.

Tomorrow marks the day for lovers here in America. As I stroll through my social media and notice all the post about Valentine’s day, I just think about us.

I don’t want flowers, I don’t jewelry, I don’t want to go out to eat. I want you to continue to show me that you’re the man I fell in love with.

Walking into our garage to see something as small as all our life vest hanging in a row, makes my heart smile.

We’re a family. As scary as this sounded years ago, these words are music to my ears. We’re a family. You have me floating in your love.

P.S. I do want some cookies!

Gate code?

You free?

Instant smile appears on my face. Even if I wasn’t free, I was about to make time quick fast and in a hurry.

I send a reply within 3 minutes. He knew I wanted him. Yes, I’m free….

What’s the gate code again?

Before he can even reply I responded with the last numbers I remembered.

“Dang, how you remember the code? I barely even remember it.”

I’m good with numbers I replied.

“Well, do you remember this 9 inches with a curve?”

Licking my lips and squeezing my legs close together. Of course I remember that. That’s the reason I’m driving to you right now.

‘I love the way you make me smile’

No time to waste. He pulled my dress over my head as my locs fell over my face. Taking one hand to push them back, he used the other hand to pull me closer to him.

Kissing like we haven’t seen each other in months.

‘Kiss it until it’s creamy’

In and out as I place my feet onto his chest. He looked me in the eyes and tells me to let it out. No need to hold it in.

Chills take over my body as I explode. This 9 inch knew each and every spot to hit. Tears form from the emotions. The only thing I can scream out was…FUCK!!!

Now we’re both dripping wet and he’s still stroking it deep.

‘Fucking love this dick’

I wanted to lay there forever….

Protect my heart…

She wanted to protect my heart from the world
Saying no one deserved it
Selfish
And maybe I liked it
It felt weird being guarded.
Protect my heart from the reality
The savagery
Because I was never that type
But I shattered my heart before a
Falling for the wrong side
So to protect it
She said ‘with my life’.
I
Might
Try..
I never want to be afraid to love
Ever again
So protect my heart from the universe
Safe with the stars
She healed the scars
She held on
Wherever my heart went, she wasn’t too far.
~ @remythewriter
Protect my heart

More from this poet.

Make sure to visit my Instagram page for more photos. @librajamy

Pedestrians

During the week if you have a normal job, you might take the same route to get there. Usually I see the same cars on the way to my part time job. But occasionally I’ve been seeing the same pedestrians.

There’s this one Korean lady who wears a mask over her mouth like doctor’s usually wear during surgery. I always catch her running across the street as her light changes from the hand to the walk signal. I have to make a right turn, so we always make eye contact and I give her the sign to go ahead.

My job is less than 5 mins from this crosswalk so I have no issue with letting her go across the four lanes before I turn. Then again, pedestrians are supposed to have the right away right?

Well, not everyone thinks so. It was a Thursday morning and as normal, I pull up to the light, it turns green, and the lady begins to run across the street. The lady behind me must was running late today because she wasn’t in a good mood. She drives right on my bumper and proceeds to blow her horn as if I was doing something wrong.

Now I’m a speed demon and definitely one who is quick to run a yellow light. But I will not put a pedestrian in danger or have them think someone is about to hit them.

The driver behind me began to curse me out and still honking the horn. All I could do is laugh. I found it even funnier because she tried to pass me when we finally turned and she got stuck in the traffic lane, while I went right on through the light.

I hope she made it to her destination safely. I’m just happy the young Korean lady wasn’t harmed.

Mosaic hearts…

I saw my husband for the first time in over a year. I knew he was coming and the nerves were building.

I wanted to make sure my hair was done nicely so he can tell me how beautiful my curls were. I needed my eyebrows to be on point so he would want to look me in the eyes longer. I needed my skin to be just glowing so he would think that I was happy to see him. He wouldn’t be there long but I was going to put on a fancy outfit that show this new booty I’ve been working hard on. I was going to make sure I wore heels too so my legs looked longer and each step I took will make my hips sway more.

I got the call saying he was 4 minutes away. I simply walked outside in a hoodie and sweats. My hair was not done and my eyebrows were not plucked. I gave him a side hug and we probably said about 10 words to each other.

He still makes me nervous but I couldn’t bring myself to putting the energy into dressing up for him. At this point, we should divorce but my heart isn’t ready to never speak to him again.
.

.

We had an agreement

My heart wasn’t on board with the details

Secrets were kept

Stories were told

Tears still form

You created this storm

This twisted spider web

My heart beats a bit faster for you

This heart still loves you.

Gamble

It’s 4th of July weekend and I was working at the restaurant all day trying to get extra money for the weekend. This was a small restaurant but we stayed busy during certain times of the day. My homies will always come in around 4 o’clock to keep me company. Really it was to get some free drinks but Daniel made sure to always leave a big tip. He would say it made him feel better tipping me more rather than paying a lot for the meal. As long as he paid something for him and his friends I didn’t care.

Daniel is my best friend of 16yrs now. In the streets they call him Gamble or G. This is because he stays taking a gamble on life. He was more like my older brother. His mother died when he was younger so my family took him in and we’ve been close ever since.

Gamble and about three other hot head boys walk in the restaurant loud as usual.

“What’s up Jamy?” Gamble asked as he approached the counter.

“Same thing as every other day. Trying to get this money. The legal way.”

“Oh so you got jokes?”

We both laughed.

“What y’all want to eat?” I yelled out to all 4 of them.

Darius shouted, “Jamy hook us up with some philly steaks!”

“You better be lucky I love y’all lil bad asses.”

I noticed G was holding a white shoe box in his hand.

“Aye, G what shoes you selling today? I know those ain’t the new Yeezys and you walking around like ain’t nobody gon run up on you.”

“I ain’t worried bout these lil dudes. Me and my homies ready for whatever.” He laughed, Turning to dap up all his homies.

They all got loud and started talking about how they ain’t tryna kill nobody just tryna make this money. I loved them all but they give me a heart attack every time they walk out this restaurant.

Everybody finished eating and Gamble told them he was going to chill a bit longer with me. We sat down at the table and chopped it up a bit. Moments later 4 new faces I’ve never seen before came inside the restaurant. I instantly felt threatened. One guy approached the table as the other three stood by the counter.

“Yo, homie run me those shoes.” The ringleader demanded.

“Nah, but you can buy them for 400.” Gamble told them, not making eye contact.

The other three guys let out a laugh. “This nigga must be a fool.”

The ringleader folded his arms across his chest, “I’m gone say it one more time.”

I was looking at G hoping he can see it in my eyes that I wanted him to just give them the shoes. Gamble grabbed the box from me and held them close to him.

“If you want these shoes, you can buy them. I’m out here tryna hustle just like y’all. I’m not giving you my shoes.” Gamble got up from the table and walked outside. I think he did this so no damage was done to my restaurant.

The guys followed him outside and I ran behind the counter trying to call the police. Keeping Gamble in my view just in case something happened. I saw the guy hand G money and he gave them the shoes. I hurried outside to make sure he was good.

“They bought the shoes?” I quickly asked him.

“Yea, they gave me the money. I told dude like damn, y’all out here tryna rob people, y’all need to find a better hustle. They lucky I sold them for 400.”

“Man you had me scared. I told you these young dudes don’t care about nothing.”

We were walking around the parking lot while G smoked and we saw a car drive by and let the window down. Gamble grabbed me and we hit the ground as he covered my body. All I heard was gunshots that sounded like they were by my ear. Then it was nothing but silence.

Opening my eyes, “Aye, G get up you’re heavy.”

He wasn’t responding. I felt something wet on my face. Looked down and blood was dripping from his mouth. I used the little strength I had to push him off me.

“G! No, no, wake up! C’mon. Don’t do this to me.”

There was nobody outside like I woke up in a new dimension. I dragged his body into the restaurant as quickly as possible. I leaned against the bench and put Daniel across my lap. The floor had puddles of blood and tears. I knew he was dying and I didn’t really know how I was going to live without him.

“G, I love you so much. You hear me?” I knew he couldn’t respond but he had to hear me. “You remember when you used to make fun of me for working here? What I used to always tell you?”

I wiped his face with my shirt but tears kept coming down. “I told you that I was going to be the head of this restaurant didn’t I? I’ll make sure Darius, Markus and Jayson get their favorite meals.”

Daniel looked up at me and took his last breath. It felt like I sat on that floor for hours before I heard police sirens pull into the parking lot.

Austin is his name…

It’s early morning and I’m on my normal commute to the office. Jamming out to my music to take the stress out of dealing with the traffic on interstate 35. Monday through Friday, it’s the same routine over and over. You tend to see the same cars taking the same exit, or the same ones speeding through traffic. I’m typically with the speedsters.

A car attempts to pass me on the left side. I pay them no mind, just hoping they hurry up so I can get over. They start to ride right next to me which is a huge pet-peeve of mine on the freeway. I try to ignore them and just speed up. Then they catch back up to me and finally I look over and the guy is waving at me. When I tell you I almost lost my mind that morning. My heart stopped and I instantly became super happy.

This wasn’t just any driver waving at me. No this was someone who I grew to love and he had to leave the city due to work. In a matter of seconds, this Tuesday became one of the best days since the first time I met him. He caused me to go speechless the first time I saw him.

So I wave back and he let his window down. Now the two of us are speeding in traffic having a conversation from our cars. This was not safe at all. The adrenaline kept us from swerving. Finally I told him to take the next exit mainly because that was my exit and I wasn’t trying to turn around or anything.

Last time I saw him was about a year ago when he came to work at the Austin location. We didn’t get to spend much time together but had some fun for lunch break. I miss the moments we had. When he was living in the city, I would visit him every Friday morning and we will spend the morning and afternoons together. But an opportunity came around for him to transfer so he moved back to the Midwest. I was hurt but I knew he wanted to be closer to his son.

We’re parked on the side of the road and he’s in this clean BMW, all black with blue trim outlining his black leather seats. When I first met him, he had an all black Mustang. So this was a nice upgrade. I was smiling from ear to ear and he came to give me a hug. He grew his hair out too, so he had this nice curly wild fro going on with a scarf wrapped around like a headband. His jeans always fit him so nice in all the right areas. He was an athlete so the muscles showed without attempting. I was definitely feeling the tribal accessorizes he was rocking. Meanwhile, I was just in jeans and a t-shirt, some sandals and my locs were back in a ponytail.

My only thoughts were I was not about to go to work with him standing right in front of me.

“What’s going on Jay? You looking good. I see your hair loc’d up and hanging nicely.” He complimented me.

“I’m doing good. Great now that you blessed me with this surprise.” I added.

“You headed to work?”

“I was headed to work.” Making sure to put emphasis on the was.

He chuckled. “You was? OK, so that must mean you clearing your schedule?”

“How long are you going to be in town?”

“I’m only here until Thursday, then I’ll be going to San Antonio before heading back to Chicago.”

“Well we’re wasting time standing here, let’s go get into something fun.”

“You wanna ride with me or you gone follow?” he asked.

Our first date, he asked me those exact words. He always has a better car than I do, so I’m definitely trying to look cute in the passenger side with his fine ass driving.

“I’ll park my car at the Walmart up there and ride with you.”

Everyone was working so nothing should be crowded around this time. We went to the same spots we visited for our first date. Breakfast at this local pancake diner and the trampoline place. It was so nice reliving those memories. Lots of laughs and competitive games of dodge ball. I was trying to focus on the moment and not the time after we have to split.

We finished the afternoon with sitting on the patio of his hotel suite, sipping mimosas. He went into the office later and I was headed to get my son. I honestly didn’t think I will hear or see from him after that because I know he will be working and not much more free time. But he surprised me the next morning.

I might not get to have him back in the city but I will be able to spend both of our birthdays together in the Midwest.

D.C. (Drama Connections) pt. 5

Tammy stood in front of the boat still on land. “Oh, so you ignoring calls now? You thought I wasn’t coming up here?” She questioned Obi.

Obi met Charee halfway between the boats so she couldn’t get close to Tammy. I followed after her. If anything was about to go down, I was beyond ready. Charee was quiet and never get to socialize but she was a fighter.

“Why are you here Tammy?” Obi asked as he walked Charee to the boat.

“Maybe you should tell your wife what you’ve been up to Obi.” She held up a piece of paper which I’m going to assume is the ultrasound.

“Tammy this is not the time for your games.”

Eric finally got off the boat to try and calm Tammy and Shay down. He was trying to act like he didn’t know Shay.

“No I’m not leaving until he tells his wife who I am and everything else about me.”

Obi started up the boat and took off with Charee on it. I could hear Charee asking him a million questions.

Shay broke her silence, “Eric will you like to explain to your wife why we’re here?”

“I don’t know why y’all are here. But you need to stay away from my family.” Eric demanded.

“Whatever. You got some explaining to do tonight so I ain’t worried.” Tammy stated.

The ladies walked away and we finally took off to the lakehouse. There was so much I wanted to say but I wanted to see if Alicia will step up this time. We rode in complete silence. Eric pretended like nothing happened. As he went to go shower, he told Alicia to come join him. I decided to leave them and link up with Stephanie. Explaining how everything went down and she knew just like I did that these men were going to love on their wives so they can forget what happened.

It was around 2 am and I get a call from Charee saying she heard Obi on the phone talking to someone. His phone was ringing all night and finally he turned it off. But after an hour or so, that’s when he left the room. She told me how she was afraid that he might snap if he finds out about the money. I didn’t want her being paranoid for the night so I suggested she go downstairs to see if he’s ok. This way he will get off the phone and hopefully come back to bed. Sure enough, Obi was on the phone promising Tammy that he will get her plane ticket in the morning. Charee walked in on him and he quickly hung up the phone.

“Hey baby, sorry if I woke you. That was Eric telling me that we needed to finish that file before the morning.” Obi telling Charee the first lie that can come to his head.

Charee got a drink of water and went back to bed. She saw Obi go to the computer but didn’t want to say anything to make things seem weird. Obi was gone when Charee woke the next morning. Her guess was he was with Tammy or headed to the bank. Moments later she received a call from him asking has she been to the bank lately. She didn’t lie about it and simply told him that she got some funds out for her trip but not a crazy amount.

“Charee, no crazy amount? I just tried to buy a pl–, I just tried to buy something and my card is decline.”

“What did you try to buy?” Charee asked him again.

“It doesn’t matter. Where is my money?”

“Maybe you should ask your mistress.” Charee hung up the phone. She decided to pack a bag and came to my house.

We called Alicia to let her know that Obi knew about the money so Eric will most likely be confronting her soon. She didn’t waste any time with leaving the house. Stephanie said that she went to Shay’s Instagram page and she saw all these photos of her and Eric out like they were a real couple.

By this time, the ladies were having a repeat of our trip to Miami with the massive phone calls and text. First the messages were filled with anger, wondering what happened to their money. After not responding for the entire day, the men turned to begging. Everything from how they are sorry and just want to know that they’re ok. To things like just call me and let me know what can I do to make things better. Oh, I was finding much pleasure in this whole situation.

Alicia finally answered the phone for Eric.

“What do you want Eric?”

“Why are you ignoring my calls? When are you coming home?”

“Who is she?”

“Bae, let’s not talk about this over the phone. Where are you? I’ll come right now.”

“Who is she?” Alicia held back tears. “I’m not coming home. You can go be with your mistress. She will leave you when she finds out you have no more money.”

“Alicia! You don’t mean that. You’re just emotional.”

“Emotional? Oh no, I am happy. You want me to tell you why? I am happy because I am no longer your puppet. I am no longer just your wife. No I am a business owner. And guess what Eric? You work for me now. So tell your little piece of kitty that she can find her own way back to wherever she lives or come sign these papers so she can meet her new boss.” She slammed the phone down on the counter and poured her a drink.

I have to admit I was very impressed with the way she handled that conversation. Eric is probably sitting there trying to wrap his mind around all of this. He must have forgotten that Alicia did graduate top of her class. She’s very smart just timid. The men didn’t know where my guesthouse was located or else they would have pulled up a long time ago.

Tammy found Charee on Facebook and decided to send her a message that read: Hey Charee. I just wanted to let you know who I am so you can have peace of mind. I’ve been knowing Obi for years now and we met in DC where I live.

We’re reading it together and I’m like girl we already know where you live and how you ain’t got nothing in your house. Sleeping in that small bed.

Him and Eric has been there several times visiting myself and Shay. Unfortunately, I am pregnant with his child. My due date is on your birthday. I know you two don’t have any children together and this may be hard for you. But I was under the impression that you and Obi was separated.

This trick is lying. She knew they were still together that’s why she was talking all that mess in the airport. The doctor’s note on her counter was for an abortion so either she didn’t get it or she’s lying about still being pregnant. I honestly don’t see Obi letting her have his baby. When I said he became possessive, he also can get a little violent when he’s upset. He never put his hands on me but came pretty close.

I’m sorry you had to find out all of this through message. You don’t have to worry about me disrespecting you or your household. I just want Obi to give me what he promised. I have children, I need to get home to and he hasn’t bought my plane ticket yet. I am placing him on child support once the baby is here.

Tammy went on to say a few more unnecessary things in that message, but we stopped reading. I wanted to tell Tammy that she wasn’t going to get any money from Obi because he’s a liar and never keeps his promises. That’s how he got Stephanie and that’s how he got Charee, by causing them stress and debt. Charee was just lucky enough to marry him so her debt became his.

A couple days went by and Charee let Obi know she was filing for divorce. This was just a threat to see how he would respond. Tammy sent Charee another message on Facebook.

It’s been almost a week now and I haven’t heard from Obi. I will admit I came to your house to see if he was there. I don’t want to bother you all anymore, I just need to get home to my kids. I know I’m not your friend or even close to being on your good side, but can you have him call me please so I can move on with my life?

Does she really think we give two shits about her well being? She’s a grown woman and shouldn’t have put all her trust into him.

One of the charities we attend every year was one for the support of abused women with or without children. Alicia had a huge passion for helping others. So her and Charee teamed up to open their own center for women and children. This place will help them get on their feet, take classes, daycare for their children and funding programs. The daycare will be for the public and for the center. It’s expensive trying to work and pay for daycare so we are teaming up to find ways to make it more accessible for the women.

I was happy things were falling into place. It would be heartbreaking if we started this and couldn’t get it finished because the men found a way to take their money back.

Roughly two weeks after the boat party and the ladies returned home. Their husbands were happy to see them but knew things will be different. Eric was a little more easygoing than Obi so he offered counseling for them right away. Obi on the other hand, was money hungry and it broke his ego to know he wasn’t the bread maker anymore. Charee explained to him that he still had his car and can find another job. She was totally fine with downgrading her home. She was into expensive things but never wanted a big house since it was just the two of them.

Both couples went to counseling after some time. Tammy messaged Charee again apologizing and told her the baby wasn’t Obi’s. Shay went on with her life and we haven’t heard anything from them. Things are going good now but I’m hoping Alicia and Charee will stay aware. It will take some time to get cheating out your system. I hope Tammy and Shay will understand that it’s very rare that a man will leave his wife for his side piece.

As for me, I was headed west for a vacation in the mountains. From Washington DC to Denver, Colorado, the drama just doesn’t end. Let’s see what this D.C. has to talk about.

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