Floating in your love….

Never been the type to like flowers. But if you send me flowers, I will love them. Put them in the best light and take a photo of them. Not just a photo to post saying I got flowers. No, it will be multiple photos. Close ups and the full image. I’ll probably add a couple filters and turn them into prints.

If you were to write me a love letter, I’ll read it multiple times and smile just as hard after each read. I will find the perfect container to put it in, so I can add more to it if you decide to write another.

The same goes for if you were to buy me earrings over a necklace. I will love them and turn it into a mini photo session.

The only way I will not capture a photo of the moment, is when I’m sitting face to face with you. This will be a moment I want to soak up without missing a second.

Now you’re probably thinking why wouldn’t I want to capture that image. Remember I said the only way I wouldn’t. Do you think I’m ever going to miss an opportunity to look back on a memory of us? No, I’ll have a camera set to capture it for me so I can enjoy every second of you.

Tomorrow marks the day for lovers here in America. As I stroll through my social media and notice all the post about Valentine’s day, I just think about us.

I don’t want flowers, I don’t jewelry, I don’t want to go out to eat. I want you to continue to show me that you’re the man I fell in love with.

Walking into our garage to see something as small as all our life vest hanging in a row, makes my heart smile.

We’re a family. As scary as this sounded years ago, these words are music to my ears. We’re a family. You have me floating in your love.

P.S. I do want some cookies!

Rest on Uncle…

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My thoughts are full today. Emotions are really high. I know I want to say something but I can’t seem to get the words together. So I search for a photo. Searching through my gallery waiting for the perfect photo to stand out and speak to me. There’s photos I’ve had for months or years and never post them because I felt the timing wasn’t right. Days like this is when I miss home the most. Just want to visit the pier and watch the sunset. Be close to the water and relax my mind.

Scrolling and scrolling and the one photo that I wish I had, I’ll never be able to get now because you’re no longer here. I just wish I had at least one to add to this post…I found out that my uncle passed away today. My first thoughts were to ask my aunt was she and everyone else doing well. I was fine driving home after hearing the news. It wasn’t until I saw photos of you then I broke down. Each photo I saw, I could hear your voice and it seem like I knew exactly what you were saying right before, during and after the photo was taken. I don’t have a single photo of us to hold on to. I’m hoping that someone in the family has one so I can keep it. I’m glad you’re resting now. I know you didn’t like living in the condition you were in. I’m going down memory lane and of course tears cloud my vision. But I’m happy there’s a great amount of happy memories with you. Thank you for everything you’ve taught me.

The part that hurts the most is being so far away and having to receive a phone call about it all. Imagine you’re just going about your day and someone calls you and you’re thinking this will be a normal phone conversation. I didn’t even know what to feel after that. This makes me want to be around my family. I just hope that years don’t go by before I get to see you all again.

I wonder if your children got to see the moon tonight. I bet it would have made them smile. It was so beautiful. I’m usually inside around this time of night so it’s rare that I get to catch the moon this close to the Earth. As I drove home, all I could do is smile and think of you. Say hello to Grandma and Granddad for me. You will be missed Uncle. Love you forever and always.

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Life feels real again….

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He took me back.

Back to the years when life felt like I had a life.
Back to the days of our emails being filled with ideas after ideas.
He took me back to storytelling and using my imagination.
He took me back to when getting lost was really me finding myself.
Back to a time when sleep was not an option because we had work to do.
He took me back to those feelings of what it meant to have support.
Those days of being someone’s number one fan.
He took me back.
As I sit and I remember, the emotions start to over pour.
We don’t always see eye to eye but he took me back to the meaning of what we do it for.
Dragons….7512

Real men face the blade

Did you know beard gangs don’t use guns!? I mean, their greatest weapon is a bottle of coconut oil, the content not the container, God forbid the bottle breaks or they break it in an argument over texture, tears will flow and mucous even more –
little wonder this spineless generation wants in on all the inactions.
Real men shave, real men face the blade and conquer.
Have you ever had a hot towel shave?, bearing your future in the hands of a conflicted soul, knowing that a moment of insanity could be your last.
So what if he had crack for lunch, real men surrender their lives to the blade and the wielder alike.
These days we no longer subscribe to dick measuring contests, show me your beard and I’ll tell you who you are- a bitch. A privileged bitch with the genetic make up of a beast.
Call it bitterness, call it rage;
call it jealousy if you will-
because you can grow a fuller beard than I can doesn’t make you superior or more of a ‘man’.
Truth is I no longer know what makes a man and I don’t think I ever did.
When will I ever be enough to be called a man?,
Apparently age doesn’t count, teenagers are ‘manning’ up these days. Again I don’t know what makes a man, penis enlargement perhaps or those who the heavens smiled on like me, I simply need to use it more; to remind myself what it feels like to be a man. Maybe I was born as one. We all know a man, why not tell me, what makes them so.
Adewumi Godwin