You’ve become part of my routine. As much as it annoyed me and I complained, I have gotten used to it all.
Today you walked out my house with your bags in your hands. We drove in complete silence. The closer we got to the station, the harder it was to hold back tears. I’m not sure why this time is harder than any other. I was doing so good until I heard my ringtone. I wonder if you know that I chose that ringtone just for you. Pulling into the parking lot and the tears start to pour. My hands began to shake and I’m trying to say everything I was thinking. Nothing came out. I couldn’t even look at you. This is not part of the routine I want to continue. I just keep telling myself that I’m dropping you off for work and you will be ready in several hours. Unfortunately this isn’t the case this time.
Watching you in the rear view as you grab your bags. It seems like time stopped. Telling myself to do something right now before it’s too late. The only thing I could do was just get a hug from you. I wasn’t about to let you leave without touching your body and kissing your lips. My mind was racing and I just really wanna know what were you thinking. If you told me to turn around and come back to get you, I promise I would have done a u-turn in the middle of traffic to hurry back to the station.
First thing I notice when I drove away is that they finally fixed the potholes on the side street. I wanted to call you so bad and tell you. I just wanted to laugh with you. I honestly wanted to be able to take that route again and again with you on the passenger side.
The quietness inside my home is what disturbs me the most. I just wanna walk into one of the rooms in the house and see you there. I have to find the energy to cook dinner. I’ve noticed the things you left here. I couldn’t help but smile because all the memories of us came into my mind. I’m going to miss you. Maybe one day we will reconnect and do things differently. But if you tell me you wanna come back tonight, I will be on my way in a heartbeat. Sorry for making things confusing.